I Didn’t Get a Bridal Shower

I don’t have a Kitchen Aid Mixer. I don’t have pretty every-day dishes and matching glasses for twelve. I don’t have a dining room table or bedroom furniture, and I don’t have a joint checking account. Why? Because I never got married. I never had a bridal shower. And you know what else I don’t have? Regrets.


I’ve had people ask me,

“What’s wrong with you?”
“Don’t you want to get married?”
“Are you one of those single, cat ladies that hates men?”

The answer to those questions are: a) How much time do you have? b) What I want has nothing to do with it… and c) I’m a dog person and actually have quite a few guy friends. We get along quite well, thank you.

Some people think that I put on a show, that deep down I’m desperate to be married and that I’m just trying to convince myself and others that I’m okay. The truth is, I’m really okay. I’m better than that actually. I’m blessed far beyond what I deserve, I have all of my daily needs, I’m surrounded by people that love me, and God has a purpose for my life that goes far beyond my marital status.

There is a popular dating site that uses Psalm 37:4 as their theme verse:

Delight yourself in The Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

I love that verse. It’s a wonderful promise, except people insert meaning into it that isn’t there. The actual meaning of the verse is not, “if I’m a really good girl, and obey all of the rules, then God is going to pad my bank account and make me Mrs. Prince Charming dressed in Gucci.” The meaning behind that verse is that if we delight ourselves in The Lord, if we make Him the desire of our hearts, then He will give us His desires for us and make them our desires too. That is SO much better than anything I could EVER put on my wish list!

God’s plan for the human race was for us to be satisfied in Him and Him alone. When Adam and Eve plunged the world into sin, they also plunged the human heart into a black hole of self-centeredness. We think that in order to be happy, we need to fill that hole with matching silverware and a set of china dishes. What Jesus came to tell is us that He is enough.

Later in Psalm 37 it says:

Better is the little that the righteous has
than the abundance of many wicked.
For the arms of the wicked shall be broken,
but The Lord upholds the righteous.

I sometimes tease my mom about wanting the pots and pans that my siblings all received as their wedding gifts, but honestly, that’s just a stack of expensive, shiny metal. Nice to have maybe, but I would much, much rather have a close walk with God who supplies my every need in miraculous ways, just so He can hear the wonder in my voice when I praise Him for His goodness. If someday He chooses to bless me with a reason to have a bridal shower, then I will praise Him for that too…but if not…that’s okay. He is enough—the great I AM—always has been and always will be. I’ll take Him over a set of Pyrex any day.

Photo credit: Shauna Younge Dessert Tables / Foter / CC BY

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  1. 1

    Well said! I know none of that is “put on”, but is the real Donya I know and love. Thx for the reminder! I like to think that as the bride of Christ, I have a husband that I KNOW will never betray me, never love me less, always understands me, always forgives, is always patient, always willing to chat, never leaves my side, thinks about me constantly and has the power to anything for me in my best interest. Beat that!!! :)\

    • 2
      Donya Dunlap says:

      You can’t beat that Tina! Jesus always has been, and always will be the very best for us, regardless of our circumstances. I was just reading Paul’s discussion on the matter in 1 Corinthians last night, and smiled at his tone of almost feeling sorry for married people because they have divided attention. While I know you and I both have days where we wouldn’t mind a handsome distraction, I also know that we agree with him. :-) Miss you friend!

  2. 3

    Yep- As Piper has said (and I put on my bathroom mirror!) “Every life is made up of chapters. No chapter has all the joys. Finite life is a series of tradeoffs. Finding God’s will, and living for the glory of Christ to the full in every chapter is what makes it a success, not whether it reads like somebody else’s chapter or whether it has in it what only another chapter will bring.”

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