The Vulnerability of Valentine’s Day
From the time we first take breath on this planet we have a desire to be seen, loved, and wanted. As we grow, we manage this desire somewhat but it never fully goes away. We may transfer this desire from parents to a cute boy on campus, a significant role at a company, or an award or accolade, but we never lose the longing to be accepted, chosen, to matter.
On this day that magnifies human connection, those without a significant other to validate our feelings can sting. Having emotions that run deep into our core can make us feel exposed and vulnerable. We want to shrink back. We wrap our hearts in protective sheets of independence and sarcasm, perfectionism and determination.
But what if we looked at vulnerability as courage? What if allowing ourselves to rest in the tension of both desire and lack—having sincerity about our feelings, opening the truth of ourselves up to the world—what if this was an act of bravery? Instead of shrinking into the shadows of your singleness, what if you stepped into the light of God’s love and extended that love to those around you? Could you be so bold?
The beautiful and wise Brene Brown shares this in her book Daring Greatly:
“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”
― Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
Encasing our hearts in the bubble wrap of self-protection feels like safety, but it blocks us from the love we seek. It hampers our ability to connect with others and to minister effectively to them.
To be vulnerable is to be like Jesus. And it helps to know that Jesus gives us the security out of which we can be real with others, for He has already chosen us. He sees all the dark secrets of our hearts and He loves us. He desires to be with us.
But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.
– 1 Peter 2:9-10
Deposit that truth deep in your soul and from that place of belonging will grow the fruit of love, empathy, and honesty needed to live a life of significance and service. God never meant for us to hide. He created us to be warriors, not wallflowers. You have everything you need within you, for you have Him!
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
– Colossians 3:12-13
On this day of pink and red and candy and flowers, lift your head and look for the outliers. Embrace the love God has for you and share it with someone who might not have the same security in Christ you have. Rest in the security of Jesus’ love for you—a love so strong He died for you! Be the brave, vulnerable, beautiful soul God created you to be, on Valentine’s Day and every day.
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