by Donya Dunlap | May 16, 2013 | The Spiritual Life
Today the inevitable happened. I was made aware of my first (to my knowledge) negative feedback on Forgetting the Fairy Tale. I knew it was coming. I knew before I was finished with writing it that this day would come. I prayed that God would guide my words and hoped to avoid what I knew was bound to happen, but alas, it happened.

When my friend read the words to me, my first reaction was, “That’s it? That’s the worst she could say? That’s not that bad.”
Then the words started to sink in. I must confess—after an hour of trying to let it go, I was strongly tempted to post the following on my Facebook wall:
Would any of you that have read my book and thought it was wonderful kindly make your way to xyz.com and tell this girl that she’s an idiot? Thanks.
(I know, I know. No super-Christian award for me.)
Thankfully, the Holy Spirit called an intervention and hasn’t stopped talking since. And He’s made some very good points. I decided that instead of starting an “I hate haters” fan page I would share what He has reminded me of today. Perhaps someone reading this will benefit from my struggle with the flesh and get that super-Christian award that is now up for grabs.
- Someone outside of my circle of family and friends has read my book. This is awesome news.
- It’s been said that you aren’t a real author until someone disagrees with you, so woohoo for that confirmation!
- At least until the point in the book where I offended this girl, she was exposed to God’s Word and He has promised that His Word will never return void.
- If my source of joy, satisfaction, or self-worth comes from what others say about me, I am destined to live a miserable and stress-filled life. My identity is not what I do or how people perceive me. My identity comes from the sacrificial gift of Jesus that has made me a child of the Almighty, All-Loving, All-Wise God who understands me completely and loves me anyway.
- I am not perfect. My words are not perfect. I need to be open to correction. I need to be willing to hear it—not argue with it—but hear it and do my best to glean from it whatever truth is there so that I can become a better person, and in this case, a better writer.
- My heart is a liar that tells me I am much more awesome than I am. If all I ever do is surround myself with people that love me and shower compliments on me, I will be consumed with pride and I won’t grow. I need friends who are willing to say hard things that I don’t want to hear. I need people to write bad reviews to remind me that I can always improve my communication skills. I need the book signings where no one shows up. These things are thermometers for my heart. They tell me if I am truly living for the glory of God or if I’m trying to steal His glory for myself.
So to you, reviewer-who-shall-remain-nameless…thank you. Thank you for taking time out of your life to read my book and for sharing your thoughts. Thank you for reminding me of who I really am and for pointing out the pride I was allowing to reign in my heart. I am indebted to you. Truly.
Photo credit: Kalexanderson / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA
by donyadunlap | Aug 25, 2012 | The Spiritual Life
Striving.
A single word that continues to float to the top of my consciousness over and over again these past few months.

Photo Credit: Janusz Gawron
Dictionary.com defines the word “strive” as
1) to exert oneself vigorously; try hard,
2) to make strenuous efforts toward any goal,
3) to contend in opposition, battle, or any conflict,
4) to struggle vigorously, as in opposition or resistance,
5) to rival.
Striving can be a very good thing. The Olympics are a wonderful example of striving for excellence. We rejoice with those who stand on the podium as the champion sings along with their country’s anthem. It is a well deserved time of recognition and praise for their years of effort and determination. We see in those athletes something that we all desire for ourselves. Greatness. The courage to rise above mediocrity—to stand above the crowd.
Striving can be a good thing, but striving can also be a bad thing.
There are times when we need to strive, to work through the pain, to oppose the difficulty, to fight for what is right. But there are also times when God calls us to rest. For example, God desires for us to enjoy a time of sabbath–a break from the hectic pace of life to rest and reflect on His goodness to us and His ability to run the world without us. We can get so attached to our schedules that we feel it is impossible for us to take a break or the whole thing will fall apart. The truth is that a failure to come apart to rest and reflect is nothing more than a manifestation of our pride. We think that the world revolves around us and our ability to keep it in motion. To continue in that mindset guarantees that not only will our schedules fall apart, but eventually we will too.
God intends for us to rest in Him physically by taking an actual space of time to rest, but He also desires us to rest in Him spiritually. Taking time to rest physically is something that I am better at than taking time to rest spiritually. I often feel that it is up to me to make God’s plans come to pass. It is true that He expects us to work hard and do our best, but there are times that He wants us to step back and let Him do the work. Sometimes things will be going smoothly and falling into place when all of a sudden all of my plans and efforts seem to be thwarted at every turn. Answers to prayers cease and circumstances turn dark. My natural response to these times is usually to work harder and to worry. To strive. This is when striving goes from good to bad to ugly.
I think God brings these seasons of quiet into our lives to remind us that it isn’t about us. God invites us into His plan, but He doesn’t need us. His plan isn’t going to go south because of anything we do or fail to do. He’s bigger than that.
There is a song called “Holy Spirit” written by Keith Getty and Stuart Townend. It is a prayer to the Holy Spirit seeking His reviving work, His presence and His power. The end of verse two says, “Turn my striving into works of grace; Breath of God, show Christ in all I do.” Those words speak right to the core of my soul. We can do nothing for Christ apart from His grace. Even when I stand to sing a song of praise to Him, I need His power and grace and strength to form the words, to support the breath, to vocalize the notes, and to do it all without seeking the praise of man and stealing His glory for myself. We can truly do NOTHING without the Holy Spirit. If we try–if we strive when God desires us to rest in Him–all that will be shown in our works is ourselves. But that isn’t what our goal should be. As the song says, it should be our prayer that Christ be glorified in all we do.
And so I close, begging the Holy Spirit to please “turn my strivings into works of grace.” Spirit, help me to surrender my will to yours in every thought and deed and attitude, so that He may increase and I may decrease. “Breath of God, show Christ in all I do.”
Listen to Kristyn Getty beautifully sing “Holy Spirit” by clicking here. If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
by donyadunlap | Oct 22, 2009 | The Spiritual Life
Have you ever looked in a mirror and been shocked by what was looking back at you? That has been a regular experience for me these last few months. As I look into the mirror of God’s Word I so often expect to see a princess, and looking back at me is a wicked witch instead.

The mirror of circumstances
Circumstances have a way of revealing our true hearts and I have literally shocked myself at times by thoughts and attitudes that I have had or words that I have said. Anger, selfishness, bitterness, pride, pride and more pride…and all when I thought things were going well!
The Lord has recently shown me how incapable I am to perform His will within my own strength and how short I fall from the mark of being “okay.” It is so easy for me to work, work, work and not rest in Him and take the time necessary to cultivate my relationship with Him. The result?
The wicked witch syndrome.
I get frustrated, irritated, anxious, hurt, overwhelmed, and all of it is in one way or another selfishness and pride. I get wrapped up in all my responsibilities and personal goals and desires that I ignore the people around me or get upset with them when they take up my time or don’t act exactly as I want them to act. Being sensitive to what people say to me, imagining things that people think of me, worrying about how people perceive me…it’s always all about me, me, me!
How ashamed I am to think of people that I have hurt by my impulsive, selfish, reactionary words and actions. I am saddened by the caustic things I’ve said and how many times I have used Scripture to justify my words when really patience and silence would have been more Christlike.
I wonder how many people I could have influenced for good, how many friendships could I have cultivated, how many souls could I have won, by simply walking with the Lord in an attitude of prayer regardless of my “to do” list, my insecurities, or my hurt feelings?
The mirror of God’s Word
As I look into the Scriptures, I don’t find Christ walking around worried about all He had to do or getting upset at how the Pharisees treated him. He always had time for others, always spoke in kindness, always thought of the Father’s will and always with a heart of sincerity and love. What a rebuke!
I am thankful that despite all of my faults, Christ still chooses to minister to me with a heart of patience, kindness and love. Even now, when I feel so unworthy to be called His child, He still reaches out to me and sets me on my feet again, pushing me down the path that He has chosen for my life and allowing me to serve Him. I am so unworthy of His love and grace, but so grateful for it! I rejoice in His longsuffering and join David in saying
“As for me, I will behold thy face in righteousness: I shall be satisfied, when I awake, with thy likeness.” (Psalm 17:15)
Photo credit: Bev Goodwin / Foter.com / CC BY