by Donya Dunlap | Jan 13, 2017 | The Spiritual Life
A few months ago I was asked to volunteer for Passion 2017, a conference for 18-25 year olds who want to draw closer to Jesus. Since my first, life-changing encounter with the Passion movement in 2012, I have wanted to take part in this event. I was thrilled God worked out my holiday travel plans to allow for the extra few days in the south. I had a few reservations about jumping into such a big event after being out of the loop of service for so many months, but I assured myself it would be just like riding a bike.
Except it wasn’t.
In times past, serving at events and conferences in any capacity was one of my favorite things. And of all the conferences I’ve known, the Passion Conference has been the most integral to my spiritual growth—albeit digitally and not in person. So you can imagine my dismay as January 2nd drew closer and closer and my heart still felt as empty as it has since my mom passed away. How could I pour out to others when I had nothing from which to give?
Words of wisdom from my Elijah friend
During that first early morning drive to the Georgia Dome, I confessed to my friend I didn’t think I could do it. The desire was there, but my emotional and spiritual reserves were gone. I don’t recall her exact words, but she spoke from a well of understanding grief and pain. She knew exactly how I felt—a comfort in itself.
She told me not to worry if I had lost my spark. It is still inside and will return when the time is right. She encouraged me to do what I could, but not to feel a pressure to perform or hold myself to a standard of past accomplishments. She reminded me that living in grace means accepting yourself and others as they are. I shouldn’t fear condemnation or reproach for not measuring up, but should simply take the next step and walk through the door God had opened.
As I walked toward registration, the anxiety I had been feeling melted away. In the first door holder meeting, tears streamed down my face as the worship leaders guided the crowd of volunteers in preparatory praise. I prayed the Holy Spirit would do what I could not. I prayed for physical endurance, emotional strength, and supernatural ability. God answered my prayer.
Just enough
I never felt a surge of power or the voice of God telling me everything would be okay. There was no mighty, rushing wind of confidence. Just enough strength to do the next thing. Unpack the boxes. Organize the shelves. Smile encouragement to the frazzled leader. Speak grace. Keep moving. Answer questions. Engage with students. Rejoice in rescued children, salvation testimonies, and open hearts.
Every moment I needed to pour out energy, ignore the screaming muscles in my legs, and do the work of the ministry, I had what I needed. Not an overflow, but enough.
Rest and reflection
Upon the conclusion of Passion 2017 and my seven week skip-the-holidays tour, I returned to Michigan exhausted. In taking time to rest and reflect I’ve thought much of the widow of Zarephath in 1 Kings 17. I’m sure she would have felt more secure with cupboards full of groceries, just as I have often felt secure in my abilities and talents. But sometimes God sends famine into our lives to draw us near to Himself.
Dependence isn’t easily learned. Without the famine, there would have been no need. And without dependence, there would have been no miracle. And though it felt more like desperation than a spiritual breakthrough, God carrying me though those three days of service was every bit a miracle.
Empty but oh so full
In my lack, I have discovered what it means to lean into the Spirit on a whole new level. It’s one thing to pray for Spirit filling as a boost to your natural accomplishments. It’s something else to need His help to put one foot in front of the other.
In reality, though our talents are given by God to be used by God, they can become idols that replace God in our lives. I know I’ve been guilty of this. In the stripping bare of my life this year, I’ve learned what no sermon could ever teach me. It is the paradox of 2 Corinthians 12:10:
But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient of you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
It’s a lesson I keep encountering over and over again. I am enough in my brokenness, my pain, my weakness, my emptiness, my portion of talents—not because what I have is sufficient, but because He is. He never expects us to have it all together. Perfectionism is a burden man has invented, not God. Jesus is all in all so we don’t have to be.
I still worry at times that I’ll be rejected as not good enough. But Passion reminded me that if I take my little, empty pot of oil to Jesus, He will provide and sustain. And in the process, He is making me into a vessel fit for the miraculous. Only an empty pot has room for Him.
by Donya Dunlap | Jun 11, 2013 | The Spiritual Life
For many years, I barely gave the Holy Spirit much thought at all. But over the last two years or so, He has taken much more of my attention. It all began when I read “Forgotten God” by Francis Chan for the first time. I wrote about my thoughts during that first reading in the posts God-Sized Dreams and A Supernatural Testimony. But last night, during our Infusion Bible Study, a thought came up that I felt was worth writing about. It is a subtle shift in thinking that I believe can make a world of difference in our lives if we take the time to explore it.
The paragraph in the workbook said this:
In Luke 11, Jesus teaches His disciples how to pray. He tells them to ask, and it will be given to them; to seek, and they will find; to knock, and the door will be opened (v. 9). He says that every human father knows how to give good gifts to his children. And then He draws a powerful conclusion: “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” (v. 13).
I have to confess, when I read this in the workbook I thought, “Does it really say that?” You see, all my life I’ve read that verse and in my head it says, “how much more will the heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him!” Do you see the difference? Just to be sure, I looked up the same verse in both KJV and ESV. Guess what. It says the same thing. You may be thinking, “Donya…what’s the big deal. I don’t get it. Of course God gives good things to His kids.” You’re right. He does. But that’s not what the verse says. The verse says how much more will He give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him.
Think of a wedding ceremony. The celebration is not about the exchange of rings. Yes, they are beautiful and meaningful, but that’s not the point. It’s about the person that you are vowing to remain in relationship with for the rest of your life. (Sometimes this gets muddled in girls’ thinking, but that’s a post for another day.) In the case of Luke 11:13, God doesn’t just want to gives us good things, He wants to give us the best thing—Himself in the person of the Holy Spirit. I even posted on this topic last week and still got sideswiped when I saw it in this verse. I can be so slow sometimes!
Imagine what could happen if you shifted your thinking from what the Holy Spirit can do for you and instead thought of what might happen if He had free reign in your life. I know it might sound like the same thing, but think about it. Instead of praying for God to give you the right words to say when you are reaching out to someone, what if you prayed for the Holy Spirit to fill you mind and mouth with Himself. He knows the person you are going to meet inside, outside and upside-down. You don’t. Praying for His help isn’t bad…but the focus in that instance is still on you. Praying for God to give you the Holy Spirit takes you out of the picture. Do you see the difference? What freedom can be found in that tiny shift! No more worrying about saying or doing the right thing or being smart enough to handle whatever questions may be asked. Just release yourself completely to the Holy Spirit to use you as a vessel to do His work as He sees fit.
I wonder, does this mental shift resonate with you? Is there something you have been praying about that needs a change in your thinking and praying? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
Photo credit: simpologist / Foter.com / CC BY-NC
by Donya Dunlap | Nov 20, 2012 | How Great is Our God, Making a Difference
I write today to give thanks and to celebrate a modern day miracle and a new adventure.
You may recall two posts that I wrote at the beginning of this year sharing what I believed God wanted to do in my life in 2012. My “resolutions” were to dream God-Sized Dreams and to have A Supernatural Testimony–essentially, to live a life that could only be explained by God and His working through me. I can honestly say that He has done much more than I could ever have asked or thought…
and He’s just getting started!
Yesterday afternoon I resigned from my position at Oakwood Baptist Church as a step towards beginning a new women’s ministry in the heart of Charlotte under Citylight Baptist Church.
Until June of 2011, I never dreamed that I would ever want to minister in a public way or be a church leader. I was content serving in my local church and ministering to women through my writing and any mentoring opportunities that came my way. But when God prompted my heart towards starting a women’s ministry in the heart of a major city, He also changed my desires. I realized that the writing of my book, which I previously felt was going to be the pinnacle of my women’s ministry, was only the start. He has a far different plan than I could have imagined and I am in complete awe that I get to take part in it. I am humbled and overwhelmed at His working in my life and so very, very thankful.
God has given me a large vision for women’s ministry and I am excited about what is to come.
For now, my plan is to get established in Charlotte as soon as possible and begin serving in my new church and getting to know the people there and in the city. I will be sharing my journey through my blog, as always, so be sure to subscribe to the updates so you don’t miss any of the exciting things God does!
I ask that you would help me by doing three things to move this new ministry forward:
1) Pray for me, for the ministry, for Citylight and for Pastor Brian and Laura Norris
2) Consider giving a tax-deductible donation to help the ministry begin as soon as possible.
3) Rejoice with me at the goodness and greatness of God and His working among the children of men! (Psalm 107)
Click here to visit the new Women’s Ministry page of this site for more information and to donate.
Click here to visit Citylight’s website.
by donyadunlap | Aug 25, 2012 | The Spiritual Life
Striving.
A single word that continues to float to the top of my consciousness over and over again these past few months.
Photo Credit: Janusz Gawron
Dictionary.com defines the word “strive” as
1) to exert oneself vigorously; try hard,
2) to make strenuous efforts toward any goal,
3) to contend in opposition, battle, or any conflict,
4) to struggle vigorously, as in opposition or resistance,
5) to rival.
Striving can be a very good thing. The Olympics are a wonderful example of striving for excellence. We rejoice with those who stand on the podium as the champion sings along with their country’s anthem. It is a well deserved time of recognition and praise for their years of effort and determination. We see in those athletes something that we all desire for ourselves. Greatness. The courage to rise above mediocrity—to stand above the crowd.
Striving can be a good thing, but striving can also be a bad thing.
There are times when we need to strive, to work through the pain, to oppose the difficulty, to fight for what is right. But there are also times when God calls us to rest. For example, God desires for us to enjoy a time of sabbath–a break from the hectic pace of life to rest and reflect on His goodness to us and His ability to run the world without us. We can get so attached to our schedules that we feel it is impossible for us to take a break or the whole thing will fall apart. The truth is that a failure to come apart to rest and reflect is nothing more than a manifestation of our pride. We think that the world revolves around us and our ability to keep it in motion. To continue in that mindset guarantees that not only will our schedules fall apart, but eventually we will too.
God intends for us to rest in Him physically by taking an actual space of time to rest, but He also desires us to rest in Him spiritually. Taking time to rest physically is something that I am better at than taking time to rest spiritually. I often feel that it is up to me to make God’s plans come to pass. It is true that He expects us to work hard and do our best, but there are times that He wants us to step back and let Him do the work. Sometimes things will be going smoothly and falling into place when all of a sudden all of my plans and efforts seem to be thwarted at every turn. Answers to prayers cease and circumstances turn dark. My natural response to these times is usually to work harder and to worry. To strive. This is when striving goes from good to bad to ugly.
I think God brings these seasons of quiet into our lives to remind us that it isn’t about us. God invites us into His plan, but He doesn’t need us. His plan isn’t going to go south because of anything we do or fail to do. He’s bigger than that.
There is a song called “Holy Spirit” written by Keith Getty and Stuart Townend. It is a prayer to the Holy Spirit seeking His reviving work, His presence and His power. The end of verse two says, “Turn my striving into works of grace; Breath of God, show Christ in all I do.” Those words speak right to the core of my soul. We can do nothing for Christ apart from His grace. Even when I stand to sing a song of praise to Him, I need His power and grace and strength to form the words, to support the breath, to vocalize the notes, and to do it all without seeking the praise of man and stealing His glory for myself. We can truly do NOTHING without the Holy Spirit. If we try–if we strive when God desires us to rest in Him–all that will be shown in our works is ourselves. But that isn’t what our goal should be. As the song says, it should be our prayer that Christ be glorified in all we do.
And so I close, begging the Holy Spirit to please “turn my strivings into works of grace.” Spirit, help me to surrender my will to yours in every thought and deed and attitude, so that He may increase and I may decrease. “Breath of God, show Christ in all I do.”
Listen to Kristyn Getty beautifully sing “Holy Spirit” by clicking here. If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
