by Donya Dunlap | Sep 18, 2013 | The Spiritual Life
Sometimes we humans like to wrap ourselves in philosophies meant to protect us emotionally from life—like bubble wrap minus the super fun moment of childlike glee behind your closed office door. We say, “Sticks and stones…” and “It’s not personal…it’s business…” and expect the hurt to magically go away. But much to my personal chagrin, life isn’t “You’ve Got Mail” and we all don’t get to marry the adorable and witty Joe Fox at the end of a time of personal heartbreak.
So what do you do when bitter words come flying your direction? How do you respond when a friend rejects you over a misunderstanding? How do you move forward in ministry with one that has broken your heart, whether intentionally or unintentionally?
It’s not Bible, but I believe the first step in forgiveness is acknowledging that you are human and the situation that has transpired has caused you pain. In “You’ve Got Mail” Joe Fox is trying to mend fences with Cathleen Kelly after his company put hers out of business. He tries to explain himself by saying with a shrug, “It wasn’t personal. It was just business.” Her response is pure truth. “Well it was personal to me.” You are a human being dealing with other human beings. We all have fallen natures. We all sin. We all cause and feel pain. It doesn’t make you less of a Christian to admit that.
The second step is much harder. You have to choose forgiveness. Or in the words of a popular song, we have to “love ’em like Jesus.” The book of 1 John is very helpful in working through the process of love and forgiveness. In chapter 4 it says this:
In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. – 1 John 4:10-11
Love isn’t a feeling. Hurt is a feeling. Pain is a feeling. Love is an action. We choose to forgive others regardless of what they do to us because love is of God and He loved us despite what we did to Him, to the point of sacrificing His own Son. That is love. God is love. And as followers of God and His Son, Jesus, whose Spirit resides in us, we have to act as He acted. We have to choose to face pain and heartache for the benefit of others.
Does that mean that we have to continue to engage with abusive people? No. Does that mean you have to just “suck it up” and move on? (I know…cheesy metaphor overload. I apologize.) No, it doesn’t. That doesn’t work anyway. Lean into Jesus. Take your hurt feelings to Him. Ask Him to help you leave them there.
Understand that forgiveness might not be a one time action either. Going back to my first point, we are human and that means messy emotions. When those emotions spill back out, wrap up that mess and take it back to Jesus. Rinse and repeat as necessary until the hurt stops hurting and His love heals your heart. It’s not fair. It’s not easy. But it’s what Jesus did for all us and what He asks us to do for others.
So while it is very personal, remember that God is in the business of broken hearts. He understands them. He heals them. He died for them. He will help you do the same.
Photo credit: Daniel*1977 / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA
by Donya Dunlap | Sep 4, 2013 | Modern Day Slavery
I firmly believe that when Jesus directed His followers to go into “all the world” that He meant it. That is why I moved to Charlotte to begin Infusion. Charlotte? Yes, Charlotte, North Carolina, in the Bible belt of a country once known for its Christian beliefs, is a dark part of “all the world” that Jesus called me to specifically. It is my desire to shine the light and hope of Jesus into some of the darkest parts of Charlotte—the “gentleman’s” clubs of the adult industry. Why? Because Jesus loves strippers.
When Jesus rescued the woman taken in adultery He didn’t focus on her sin. He didn’t ignore it, but He didn’t condemn her for it. That’s why He came. To rescue. To redeem. When Jesus gave living water to the woman at the well, He called her out of the fantasy world that had lead her to where she was at that moment, but He also showed her love and gave her a new life. A radiant life and a future full of promise.
I could go on and on about statistics and tell you how many girls end up starting in the clubs to make money and end up forced to pimp on the streets. I could write about what the church as a whole needs to do about this problem…but that’s not what is on my mind today. Today I’m desperately burdened for the one thinking she just needs a little cash to get by, yet remains unaware of the battle for her soul. I cry for the one that thinks she has no options and is right now making a horrible decision leading her into a life of spiritual captivity. I want to show Jesus to that one and that one…and the one after her and the one fixing her hair next to her.
Jesus loves every single one of these women, young and old, that don’t even know His name. I want to make the introductions. I want to take Jesus into the dressing rooms of the strip clubs and show those girls that He wants to give them hope and a future. That He already has, if they will accept it.
I need help. I can’t do this alone.
On October 11-13, 2013 there is a Strip Church training conference to teach people like me how to bring Jesus into the darkness of the adult industry. Just as any soldier must go through training before heading to war, so must I. But as with any other war, there are expenses—expenses that I can’t afford. So I’m asking you for help. The conference itself costs $250, plus hotel, airfare, parking, meals, etc. I have a little over two weeks before I need to purchase plane tickets. Unless I can raise most of these expenses during that time frame, I can’t commit to this program.
Would you be willing to help send me with the light of Jesus into the darkness? You can do so with a simple click of the button on my donate page, or by using the mailing address on that same page to send a check in to Citylight with “Strip Church Training” on the memo section.
You may never meet these girls this side of Heaven, but I believe there will be a chorus of dancers praising Jesus there someday as a result of this ministry and your gifts. He wouldn’t have called me to this task if He didn’t have a harvest of beautiful, loved women on His heart. Thank you for helping me help them!
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Photo credit: dtraleigh / Foter / CC BY-NC
