by Donya Dunlap | Aug 29, 2013 | The Single Life
I don’t have a Kitchen Aid Mixer. I don’t have pretty every-day dishes and matching glasses for twelve. I don’t have a dining room table or bedroom furniture, and I don’t have a joint checking account. Why? Because I never got married. I never had a bridal shower. And you know what else I don’t have? Regrets.
I’ve had people ask me,
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Don’t you want to get married?”
“Are you one of those single, cat ladies that hates men?”
The answer to those questions are: a) How much time do you have? b) What I want has nothing to do with it… and c) I’m a dog person and actually have quite a few guy friends. We get along quite well, thank you.
Some people think that I put on a show, that deep down I’m desperate to be married and that I’m just trying to convince myself and others that I’m okay. The truth is, I’m really okay. I’m better than that actually. I’m blessed far beyond what I deserve, I have all of my daily needs, I’m surrounded by people that love me, and God has a purpose for my life that goes far beyond my marital status.
There is a popular dating site that uses Psalm 37:4 as their theme verse:
Delight yourself in The Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
I love that verse. It’s a wonderful promise, except people insert meaning into it that isn’t there. The actual meaning of the verse is not, “if I’m a really good girl, and obey all of the rules, then God is going to pad my bank account and make me Mrs. Prince Charming dressed in Gucci.” The meaning behind that verse is that if we delight ourselves in The Lord, if we make Him the desire of our hearts, then He will give us His desires for us and make them our desires too. That is SO much better than anything I could EVER put on my wish list!
God’s plan for the human race was for us to be satisfied in Him and Him alone. When Adam and Eve plunged the world into sin, they also plunged the human heart into a black hole of self-centeredness. We think that in order to be happy, we need to fill that hole with matching silverware and a set of china dishes. What Jesus came to tell is us that He is enough.
Later in Psalm 37 it says:
Better is the little that the righteous has
than the abundance of many wicked.
For the arms of the wicked shall be broken,
but The Lord upholds the righteous.
I sometimes tease my mom about wanting the pots and pans that my siblings all received as their wedding gifts, but honestly, that’s just a stack of expensive, shiny metal. Nice to have maybe, but I would much, much rather have a close walk with God who supplies my every need in miraculous ways, just so He can hear the wonder in my voice when I praise Him for His goodness. If someday He chooses to bless me with a reason to have a bridal shower, then I will praise Him for that too…but if not…that’s okay. He is enough—the great I AM—always has been and always will be. I’ll take Him over a set of Pyrex any day.
Photo credit: Shauna Younge Dessert Tables / Foter / CC BY
by Donya Dunlap | Aug 22, 2013 | The Spiritual Life
I have often heard a frazzled woman say some variation of, “Can I please just get a little peace and quiet for a minute?” Peace and quiet. Both can be rare commodities, especially in today’s constant stream of media, social and otherwise. The Lord has been teaching me this week a few things about peace and quiet—most importantly that first you must be quiet to have peace.
My life has been altered in recent weeks so that I have found it difficult to get adequate amounts of quiet time. For an extremely introverted person such as myself, this is a very trying thing emotionally, physically, and I’ve connected now…even spiritually.
I had a meeting tonight in a shopping complex that had a lovely outdoor seating area. After we dismissed, I found a table away from everyone, and sat for a time simply enjoying the breeze and the quiet. As I was leaving, I noticed the bright and very lovely moon and was awed by its beauty. A few minutes later I found myself back home, sitting in my car, and thinking about that moon. Suddenly, this thought came to me:
In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.
This, of course, caused me to begin a conversation with myself.
Hmm. Is that a song? No, that’s a scripture. I need to look that up.
Thanks to modern technology I found myself reading Isaiah 30 on my phone just a few taps later. The passage is one that I’ve read before, but it struck me in a fresh way tonight.
The chapter begins with the Lord lamenting over the stubbornness of the Isrealites. They had come up with a plan, but didn’t seek God about it. They decided to look to Egypt for protection instead of the Lord. He had sent prophets to warn them, but they refused to listen and turn away from their plans. As a result, He warns them that they will be destroyed, comparing them to a piece of pottery that is shattered so that there isn’t even a fragment large enough to use for a sip of water. And then comes the verse that the Lord brought to my mind tonight:
For thus saith the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel; In returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength: and ye would not.
It seems so bold to read on paper. “…and ye would not.” An absolute refusal to turn to God. But I realized that when I busy myself to the point of having no space or time to rest, be quiet and place my confidence in the Lord to handle all of the things on my to-do list, I’m acting in the very same way as the “stubborn” and “rebellious” people of Israel. This is a frightening thought, but thankfully, the chapter doesn’t end there! Three verses down it says:
And therefore will the Lord wait, that he may be gracious unto you, and therefore will he be exalted, that he may have mercy upon you: for the Lord is a God of judgment: blessed are all they that wait for him.
The Lord waits for us.
In our crazy, busy lives, we get distracted and pulled in a thousand directions—and the Lord waits for us. We try everything we can think of to relax, organize for maximum efficiency, and plan for every possibility—and the Lord waits for us. He waits for us to settle, to slow down, to be quiet long enough that he can be gracious and merciful to us. He wants to give us the peace that we long for, but He needs for us to quit spinning our wheels first.
So I encourage you to do what I am now making time to do. Instead of continuing to make your own plans, filling your calendar to full and overflowing, and looking to health and wellness magazines for what to do about stress, why don’t you make an appointment for some quiet time with Jesus today? Let Him show you what His plan for you is instead of you trying to drag Him along on yours. I feel confident that in doing so, we will both find out that “blessed are all they that wait for him.”
Photo credit: paul+photos=moody / Foter / CC BY-NC
by Donya Dunlap | Aug 16, 2013 | Fiction
Taking a break from the work at hand, Maria stands from her desk and steps out on the patio. She is surprised to discover the evening has turned cool for the first time since summer arrived months before. Breathing deeply she looks to the sky and sees a hint of pink drifting past the moon which is perfectly cut in half and dangling just above the tree-line. Turning to glance over her shoulder, she finds the sky behind her full of brilliant pink and gold clouds. This calls for more than a five minute break.
Slipping into her favorite, paper-thin flip-flops and grabbing her camera and keys, she heads down the stairs from her third-floor apartment. The lower elevation makes her lose sight of the color-filled horizon, but only for a few moments. A break in the buildings brings her the photograph she seeks.
Continuing around the bend and up the hill, she notices the absence of activity in the neighborhood. “Has school begun already?” she wonders. Slowing her pace, she begins to notice the details of her surroundings. Crickets and cicadas call to each other. The movement of her sandals point her attention to the cracks in the pavement beneath her feet. A single firefly instantly transports her to the wooden porch swing from her childhood where many a summer night was passed gliding under the stars. A hint of lilac in the air confuses her memory. The tree filled with lavender blooms wasn’t at the country home of her teen years. It was beneath her window at the house in the city when she was a younger girl. A blink of her eyes brings them into focus on the blooms before her. She was inhaling the present, not the past. A smile flickers across her face.
Two men in conversation add to the chorus of insect-life. A distant chainsaw fills in a bass line quite nicely.
The moon has a soft halo around it now. The pink has given way to the dark blue of night. She breathes deeply once more, but the flowered scent has faded with the light. Stepping back up the concrete stairs, she nods at the tall, cologned neighbor going the opposite direction. She assumes he is headed to meet a lady friend for a late dinner.
The air is stifling inside her living space. She hesitates to return to the screen that so often steals her fanciful inner self and demands she be responsible. Ignoring its perceived frown cast in her direction, she grabs her journal and a new pen and retreats back to the solitude of her thoughts and the peace of a mid-August night.
This is life—not the list of responsibilities laying on the desk on the other side of the glass. Just this. This moment. This heartbeat. This breath. Clarity fills her mind, lungs and heart. It infuses her memory and refreshes her soul. This is rest. Rest in motion. She smells it, savors it, and gives thanks.
Photo credit: Shandi-lee / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND
by Donya Dunlap | Aug 14, 2013 | The Single Life, The Spiritual Life
During the last seven months of women’s ministry, I’ve sensed something amiss when sharing with others what God has been doing. In the daily work, it is exciting and thrilling to see God move hearts, change mindsets, and bring understanding and rescue. But when I am in conversation with others, or listening to co-workers share their stories from the trenches, I continue to hear a disturbing response. It varies in presentation, but generally boils down to, “how many?”
How many attend your services? How many people come to your Bible studies? How many people have been rescued? How many have accepted Christ? How many? How many? How many?
I understand the thought behind the question. It’s an innocent thing we humans do. We quantify. We analyze. We justify where we put our money based on results. It makes sense…but it is a concerning mindset for two reasons:
It plants a seed of hurry in the mind of the minister.
If allowed to grow, this seed can lead to focusing on the fruit instead of committing to be faithful to the work that God has called them to do. This throws the ministry off-point because God didn’t call us to the storage barns. He called us to the harvest fields. It is the minister’s job to minister and God’s job to bring about the results. If a minister develops a hurried spirit focused on numbers, he will soon find himself far from the path God placed him on with his ministry in shambles at his feet.
It overlooks the value of the one.
In the parable of the lost sheep, Jesus pictures for us how much He values one soul. He said,
“What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray.” (Matthew 18:11-13)
It’s true that Jesus died for the world as a whole, but He loves each of us as individuals. He knows us by name. He listens to our thoughts and our innermost groanings that we can’t even put into words. (Romans 8:26) Yes, He calls us to minister to the multitudes, but His plan is to win them one-by-one. A solitary soul is worth far more than the collective riches of this world, because it is for each one that Christ poured out His blood and love for on Calvary.
So I challenge you, the next time you find yourself chatting with a missionary about his field, ask him about the one. The one moment that has brought him the most joy. The first person that came to Christ. The most recent convert he was able to introduce to the baptism waters. If you want to be encouraged by a smile that comes straight from heaven, focus on the worth of one soul that Christ and that minister loves. I promise, if you asked them if all the heartaches they have had to endure in their ministry was worth the soul of one, they would say, “yes.” And Jesus would too.
And if you are that minister that is concerned about your tiny congregation or the recent dip in your attendance numbers, I challenge you to remember the immeasurable worth of one. Don’t give way to the call to hurry. Each soul is priceless and precious to the One that died for them.
Photo credit: h.koppdelaney / Foter / CC BY-ND
by Donya Dunlap | Aug 7, 2013 | The Spiritual Life
“I know I’m supposed to tell the truth, but…”
“I know God says I need to do this, but…”
“I know what I’m doing is a sin, but…”
What are we supposed to do when life seems to tower like a giant over what we know is the right thing to do? How are we supposed to trust that God’s way is the right way when it looks absolutely impossible?
In preparation for the upcoming Infusion Bible Study on Forgetting the Fairy Tale I have been digging more into the root of what a fairy tale means. According to Merriam-Webster.com, a fairy tale’s definition, synonyms and antonyms are:
1a: a story involving fantastic forces and beings (as fairies, wizards, and goblins)
1b: a story in which improbable events lead to a happy ending
2: a made-up story usually designed to mislead
Synonyms: fable, fabrication, lie, falsehood, falsity, fib, mendacity, prevarication, story, tale, taradiddle (or tarradiddle), untruth, whopper
Antonyms: truth
Did you catch that last part? The opposite of a fairy tale is truth. God’s Word is truth. So when we choose to believe that our way is better than God’s way, or that our circumstances provide a logical excuse to ignore the Bible’s commends, we are choosing to live a lie. We are buying in to the Enemy’s fairy tale.
That might seem innocent to you, but consider the consequences…
- Eve thought she could eat the forbidden fruit and it would be okay. She plunged the entire world into sin.
- Sarah thought she could work the system to have a child through Hagar. Thousands of people have died through the generational war between Isaac and Ishmael’s descendants because of that decision.
- Achan didn’t think it was such a big deal to take a few spoils of war that God had said to leave alone. As a result 36 husbands and sons were killed in battle and Achan’s entire family was killed.
God doesn’t care about your “but.”
Mine either. In fact, He knew that we would want to argue with Him at times, because we’re His kids and that’s what kids do. So He beat us to the punch and wrote this:
There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. – 1 Corinthians 10:13
Is God’s way always the easiest way? No. But it is always the best way. His way may have consequences that don’t jive with our wish lists, but the consequences of doing right always include His blessing with whatever earthly bitterness might also come about. So bite back that “but” and submit yourself to God’s way instead of your own. You’ll be thankful you did in the end!
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. – Proverbs 3:5-6
