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Striving: When Good Turns Into Not So Good

Striving.

A single word that continues to float to the top of my consciousness over and over again these past few months.

Swimming Competition

Photo Credit: Janusz Gawron

Dictionary.com defines the word “strive” as
1) to exert oneself vigorously; try hard,
2) to make strenuous efforts toward any goal,
3) to contend in opposition, battle, or any conflict,
4) to struggle vigorously, as in opposition or resistance,
5) to rival.

Striving can be a very good thing. The Olympics are a wonderful example of striving for excellence. We rejoice with those who stand on the podium as the champion sings along with their country’s anthem. It is a well deserved time of recognition and praise for their years of effort and determination. We see in those athletes something that we all desire for ourselves. Greatness. The courage to rise above mediocrity—to stand above the crowd.

Striving can be a good thing, but striving can also be a bad thing. 

There are times when we need to strive, to work through the pain, to oppose the difficulty, to fight for what is right. But there are also times when God calls us to rest. For example, God desires for us to enjoy a time of sabbath–a break from the hectic pace of life to rest and reflect on His goodness to us and His ability to run the world without us. We can get so attached to our schedules that we feel it is impossible for us to take a break or the whole thing will fall apart. The truth is that a failure to come apart to rest and reflect is nothing more than a manifestation of our pride. We think that the world revolves around us and our ability to keep it in motion. To continue in that mindset guarantees that not only will our schedules fall apart, but eventually we will too.

God intends for us to rest in Him physically by taking an actual space of time to rest, but He also desires us to rest in Him spiritually. Taking time to rest physically is something that I am better at than taking time to rest spiritually. I often feel that it is up to me to make God’s plans come to pass. It is true that He expects us to work hard and do our best, but there are times that He wants us to step back and let Him do the work. Sometimes things will be going smoothly and falling into place when all of a sudden all of my plans and efforts seem to be thwarted at every turn. Answers to prayers cease and circumstances turn dark. My natural response to these times is usually to work harder and to worry. To strive. This is when striving goes from good to bad to ugly.

I think God brings these seasons of quiet into our lives to remind us that it isn’t about us. God invites us into His plan, but He doesn’t need us. His plan isn’t going to go south because of anything we do or fail to do. He’s bigger than that.

There is a song called “Holy Spirit” written by Keith Getty and Stuart Townend. It is a prayer to the Holy Spirit seeking His reviving work, His presence and His power. The end of verse two says, “Turn my striving into works of grace; Breath of God, show Christ in all I do.” Those words speak right to the core of my soul. We can do nothing for Christ apart from His grace. Even when I stand to sing a song of praise to Him, I need His power and grace and strength to form the words, to support the breath, to vocalize the notes, and to do it all without seeking the praise of man and stealing His glory for myself. We can truly do NOTHING without the Holy Spirit. If we try–if we strive when God desires us to rest in Him–all that will be shown in our works is ourselves. But that isn’t what our goal should be. As the song says, it should be our prayer that Christ be glorified in all we do.

And so I close, begging the Holy Spirit to please “turn my strivings into works of grace.” Spirit, help me to surrender my will to yours in every thought and deed and attitude, so that He may increase and I may decrease. “Breath of God, show Christ in all I do.”

Listen to Kristyn Getty beautifully sing “Holy Spirit” by clicking here. If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

“Forgetting the Fairy Tale” Book Review by Lauren D’Alessandro

Lauren D’Alessandro, Co-founder of The You Are Project, graciously offered to read a preview copy of Forgetting the Fairy Tale and write a book review of her thoughts.

I was really excited when Donya Dunlap allowed me to read and review her soon-to-be-published manuscript, Forgetting the Fairy Tale. Now as I write this review, I’m a little intimidated—I’m not sure where to begin, or how to do justice to this book that just unexpectedly became a part of my top five books by Christian authors.

Forgetting the Fairy Tale is more than just a fluffy, feel-good Christian book about womanhood. It is a call to action, a call to truly let go of the elusive pleasures we seek from men and from this world and to turn to Christ for love, strength, and our sense of self-worth…

Click here to read the full book review.

Lauren D'alessandro

Lauren D’Alessandro, Co-founder of The You Are Project

What If VS What Then

I can’t really say that I have an angel and a demon that sit on my shoulder and argue over my life choices, but I can most assuredly testify to the presence of a “what if” gnome. I haven’t actually caught sight of the little fiend, but I’m pretty sure he looks something like this…

Garden Gargoyle

Photo Credit: JSSKate, Canada

Every once in a while this little creature plants himself squarely on my shoulder, grabs my ear with both hands and will not shut up.

What if this happens? What if that happens? If that happens, then this could happen and what would you do then?

Mr. Twenty Questions tried his mind game tactics on me today and I was reminded of some great advice I received a while back. I can’t be certain of where I heard it exactly, but I believe Mrs. Beth Moore can be credited for it. I was told that instead of trying to ignore the what if’s that it is best to play them all the way to the bitter end by asking the what if, what then? For example. What if God doesn’t provide the money for the large bill you forgot was coming? It’s due in two weeks. What happens if you don’t have the money? What then says, the bill doesn’t get paid. What then? You will most likely incur a late fee. What then? Say this bill is a mortgage payment. What if you lose your house and ruin your credit? What then? Well, then you either find a place to rent, live with a friend, sell all your belongings and live out of your car, move in with your parents, etc. What then? What then? What then?

Do you know what happens at the end of all the questions?

I find God there.

If the very worst things that I can imagine actually come true. God is still with me. I can never lose Him. I can never out run Him. No matter what people think of me, He will always love me. Even if the worst thing is that I die, God is still there, ushering me into heaven. There is no where that I can go in my imagination or in real life that is apart from God. What does this do for me? It makes me realize that my current situation feels hopeless because I haven’t invited God into it. Even though He is there, worrying keeps Him at arms length. But when you acknowledge that no matter what, God is always going to be there for you, it is easier to bring Him into your current problem.

I probably shouldn’t admit this since I wrote a book on the subject, but I’m going to anyway. One of my weaknesses is that while I am very good at believing that God can do anything and everything for other people, and that He wants to heap blessings upon blessings on their lives, I hesitate to believe that for myself. Why is that? I’m not sure. I think it is because for years I’ve listened to the little gnome on my shoulder telling me that I’m not good enough for God to bless me. That I need to do better, be better, work harder before God will look kindly on me. The trouble with this kind of performance based love is that it simply isn’t true.

God loves me the same no matter what I do or what kind of circumstances I am in. His love for me never grows or diminishes based on me because His love for me isn’t about me, it’s about Jesus. When Jesus covered my sin with His blood, my status before God was sealed. Regardless of all the “what ifs” He will always love me, He will always be with me, and He will always provide His best for me. His best might not look like what I think it should look like, but it is given for my good and His glory regardless.

When I think of God’s blessings versus my best, the story of Joseph usually comes to mind. I’m sure Joseph didn’t think that being sold into slavery, falsely accused of rape, and tossed into prison was a good thing. But the Lord used it to elevate Joseph to a position of great power and to save the lives of thousands of people. When all the “what if”s played out, Joseph explained it to his brothers:

Ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive. – Genesis 50:20

You might be in a situation right now that seems impossible. You see a light at the end of the tunnel, but you aren’t sure if it is relief or a train. Just when you think you have the budget all figured out, you get in an accident or open another bill. In these times it is tempting to believe that God isn’t with you, that He doesn’t care, or that He isn’t going to come through for you. As hard as it might seem at the time, choose to turn your “what if”s into “what then”s. I’m sure at the end of your struggle, you’ll find God there. Invite Him into your situation now and surrender your worries to His very capable hands. Things may not turn out the way you hope, but His way is always better.

Do you have a “what if” gnome too? Take his picture and tweet it to me! @donyadunlap Maybe the camera flash will scare him away.

“What Am I Going to Do?”

“I’m overwhelmed.” “I have so much to do.” “I don’t have enough money.” “How is this ever going to work?”

Sound familiar?

a worried woman

There are times in my life (like today) when these questions and a dozen more crowd my mind and make it hard to breathe. If I allow myself to play these thoughts in my mind, by the end of the day I am completely overwhelmed, frustrated, discouraged and have accomplished nothing. Why? Because all of my energy was wasted on worry.

David understood this very thing. In Psalm 61 he prays to God and confesses that he is completely overwhelmed. He requests help to remember that he had a higher power, a shelter, a strength that was greater than himself and his problems. We need to do the same.

Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer. From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I. – Psalm 61:1-2

We have a Rock to run to for protection from the storms and for safe haven from the rushing waters that threaten to overcome us. We can choose to stay where we are and drown in our emotions, or we can cry out for help. We can’t climb the cliff ourselves, but when we call on the Lord to rescue us, He is quick to reach out and lift us to safety.

Your circumstances may not change. You may still have a to-do list a mile long and a list of bills to equal it. What will change is your heart. You will have peace that no matter what happens, Christ has a hold on you. You aren’t going to fall to your death. You will be able to take one step at a time with a mind free of worry because you have given your fears over to the only one that can really do anything about them.

Sometimes I think we women tend to worry and fret and plan and manipulate as a way to control the situation. We feel that handing our fears to God is giving up. We think that if we let Him work out the details that things won’t happen the way we want them to. But what we fail to realize is that we aren’t in control no matter how much we try to be. The only thing we are doing when we hold on to our worries is adding sin to our already difficult situation. This pulls us away from God instead of drawing us to Him.

So the next time you are tempted to push play on the recording labeled “What am I going to do?” push pause instead. Take a moment, or several if necessary, and take your concerns to God. Let Him know what the problem is and ask for Him to intervene. Ask Him for the peace needed to think clearly, the grace to leave the problem in His hands and the wisdom to know what to do when the time is right to act.

Do you have a special verse that you turn to when you feel overwhelmed? I would love for you to share it with us in the comments section. It may be just the thing that someone needs to hear today to take courage in the trial they are facing.

Fact Check

Fact Check

I’m addicted to check marks. At any given time I have multiple to-do lists running through my mind or jotted in my planner. Currently I have my work list, my once I get home list, my before school starts back up list, my blog list, my things around the house list, and my shopping list. It gives me great pleasure to place a big, fat check mark next to one of the items on that list. In fact, I sometimes write down things I’ve already accomplished just so I can mark them off! (Am I the only one that does that? Tell the truth…)

to-do list with pen

Lists are good and they can help us accomplish a lot of things, but they have a downside. They can help us with things we need to do, but they fall short in helping us with things we need to be.

This morning I received a fact check before I even got out of bed. I read a message from a friend that mentioned how she had noticed that I had changed recently. At first I was excited to hear that someone had noticed what God had been doing in me and I started to give myself a big, congratulatory, pat on the back for the progress I have made, (ridiculous, I know) but then God threw reality in my face. I felt Him ask me, “How are you really doing, Donya? You have changed, yes, but are you as close to Me as you should be?”

FACT CHECK.

OUCH.

This quiet question in the early morning pierced my pride and helped me to see what I was missing. I have been so busy checking off things on my list that I haven’t been giving as much attention to the most important thing—simply BEING with Christ. Not being busy serving Him or writing about Him or helping others draw closer to Him. Just being with Him. Sitting outside and looking at the stars He created and talking with Him. Sharing my dreams with Him.

Don’t get me wrong. I haven’t neglected Him altogether. I’ve still been doing many of the things that we say are good to do as part of our relationship with Him, but it has been lacking some of the intimacy that has been there in recent days. His gentle reminder was just the nudge I needed to make sure to set aside my lists for a time today and just hang out with Jesus for a little while.

Are you a list addict like me? What do you do to break away from the to-do and give yourself time to just be? I’d love for you to share in the comments below.

Photo Credit: Mateusz Stachowski www.sxc.hu

 

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